Not impressed

To: Everyone on the internet

Subject: I am not that impressed

Dear citizenry of the internet as a whole-

I am not impressed. Your myspace picture is not glam enough, you’re not displaying that you party like a rock star enough, and I’m not convinced you have travelled enough of the earth to give you perspective above your middle America middle class upbringing. I don’t think you care enough about certain issues like lost cats, abducted children, Barack Obama, or world hunger. Your musical tastes are pedestrian and your social circle is plebeian. Somewhere along the line, you seem to have missed that the tragic fall from grace that nabs a celebrity a headline must be proceeded by some sort of rise in order to produce contrast. You are merely perpetually stumbling.

Despite the fact that there has been an apparently tremendous effort to prove a point contrary to my conclusion, you have failed. Energy spent < minimum needed. I must reiterate- I am not impressed. You have not met the burden of proof. Please upload more pictures, get more wall posts, forward more emails, change your desktop, and otherwise rearrange the pieces of personality flair you have been electronically hoarding like a Bowerbird since your first AOL account.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must post this to my blog, because everyone obviously cares about my opinion

~Matt

Marker

So yesterday I spent about an hour running over to the med campus, getting lost in Wishard (again), and trying to find the palliative care office to pick up a CD with an image file on it like I’m a friggin spy in 1986 (because why in the age of the internet do I need to physically go somewhere to get information). To top it off, the image that I thought I could possibly run as the cover of this booklet ended up being something thrown together in marker. I’m really going to hold out for the possibility that it was drawn by a kid with some kind of condition. Regardless, it is not going to be the cover. It has become apparent that I’m going to need to do some amateur photography here.

Not a Nymph

and pan

A nymph

Syrinx

Janktron 5000

So-

My office computer is extremely jank. Today I was trying to switch over to Firefox from a Word document (not open firefox, but just minimize word and bring firefox up) and both programs stopped responding. Thinking it was just some sort of technological belch, I went to the bathroom to come back with the computer in the same state. The computer wasn't fully frozen, just nothing was responding. I really don't think having open an internet browser and a word processor is too much to ask, this being mid 2008 and all. So, two reboots and an hour and a half later, I am working on a new computer that is responsive to keystrokes. The real beef here is that I don't quite understand how with the amount of money I pay for medical education at an institution that regularly wins national merits for its information technology, why can't I have a computer that functions properly?

Thanks duck

Nutrition

So I’m beginning to think that my motivation levels at work are related to taking or not taking my morning vitamin-

Although the vitamin does have Guarana in it (tisk tisk) which contains more caffeine than coffee

You know, I’m ok with the fact that I have a mild caffeine addiction and if I don’t get it I go through documented withdrawal symptoms

Performance

This weekend I had a bit of an epiphany and I also realized why my best friend is my best friend. On Sunday, instead of going back to Indianapolis in one of about 700 flood producing thunderstorms Indiana has had this summer (side note- watch for high food prices as over 30 million acres of farmland have been flooded out) I was watching Chicago with some friends and came to the realization that I love performing. Like really really love it. And so does Jessica, which is so cool.

It helps to explain the karaoke fetish (or the fact that, yes, I warm up before hand and have a repertoire of songs I use) and also the fact that both of us are going into careers where there is a bit of performance involved. I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point where I’ll just be the doctor, I think it’ll always be Matt playing the doctor at the time. I personally think I play the part rather well- as evidenced by being able to alter my manner when dealing with a very overprotective spastic parent. An endocrinologist and I talked about the way to deal with patients like that, and we both agreed that there is a bit of schmoozing that needs to be done in medicine- good thing I’m a charmer.

The wonderful thing about this is while I think I could have easily been a killer director of burlesque shows, this is where I am now and I still get to perform all the time. Granted, I will probably not get to gyrate as a backup dancer for Madonna or be Velma Kelly, but no one can stop me from singing my guts out in the car, or the shower, or from dreaming.

The power of performance as something sublimely transforming and almost mystical is something I’ve always thought of and am glad I’ve had the privilege of being involved with. Liza once hinted at something like that in her Inside the Actor’s Studio interview. It also is presented as that in this book I’ve been reading (actually read half and it is “in progress,” but I finished Dorian Gray so this is next), Trickster Makes this World, that performing/storytelling is the art of creating a clever lie and then getting people to believe it. I need to finish that book- it mashes up pretty well with Jungian psychology and if I’m going to be all about that, I guess I better read the shit. Maybe some people could use some transformative performance therapy. I mean, mindfulness therapy is already getting big attention, and that’s another one of those “no shit” ideas I’ve had.

The point of this is I’m glad that I know someone really loves performing as much a I do, and maybe that’s why Jessica and I get along so swimmingly.

~Matt

Mural 1

This is art one of 3 of a mural that I found painted on the back of a furniture store next to the place I lived my Sr year of college. There had been other wimpier tags (including some creep-o mickey mouse stencil with X's for eyes) but nothing really of this level. I wish I knew who did it- anyway there is a large vacant field in front of the wall and I hear some people are planting a garden in front of it- good. If there's one thing that frustrates me it's land that goes unused because the owner doesn't want to do anything with it. Patriarchy is intertwined with the need to control property above and beyond what one can personally manage, and we all know how I feel about the patriarchy.

Mural 2

Mural 3

Oy

if I have to hear any more statements about "my church" I will vomit

I now get the whole faith based life family values thing- basically surrender your social life to your church. It's a cute and old-fashioned way of ordering one's life that I'm not opposed to others doing, however please do not look down your nose at me because of how I choose to order mine, thx.

The last temptation

ugh- really Christian guys with bangin bodies are about as worthless as tits on a bull

Killing time

w00t arts and crafts- bracelet and slightly mutated frog

Piss Christ

this was on the wall of the bathroom...wtf

I don't get why someone can't pee without reading something from proverbs. I am a huge fan of epigrams and I believe the bible has some real winners, but I think it is kind of depressing that all wisdom has to flow from one text for a lot of people.

Bombs away

one of the campers totes just dropped a deuce in his shorts

being medical staff, since the deuce was not a glucose tab, it was not in my sphere of responsibility. Thank g-d.

Kids love nature

campers saw a lizard, turtle, etc. at what I considered to be a two bit dog and pony show of a nature experience (although there were no actual dogs or ponies... there was a gerbil)

These kids totes spazzed out. Now I know why zoos stay in business even though they're kind of depressing.

Patterns

so yet again I have attached myself to the sassiest jewish chick in the area

Diabetes camp

ugh- my computer keeps crashing so I drew this while it was rebooting

Jessica needs updates

Well, here’s an exciting update-

My friend Sanjay and I are trying to start a medical school blog. Basically we hunger and thirst for knowledge above and beyond basic sciences. We want to aggregate interesting issues in health care relating to public policy, ethical issues, and study aids that people collect. Basically we want something more tangible than the email to everyone on the listserv thing. Also, when people send out interesting articles there is zero opportunity for discussion unless people wanted to flood other peoples’ inboxes.

We’re still In planning stage but this shouldn’t be too hard. I mean, it’s not brain surgery, just discussions of how brain surgery should be reimbursed.

A facebook study

Today at work I’m going to be working on CurrMIT- I forget what it stands for, but it’s pronounced like Kermit the frog. It is unlike the puppet in the sense that it lacks whimsy and fails to amuse me in any way shape or form. The gist is that I have to outline all my classes so that someone can enter them in a database that will be used for our accreditation etc etc blah blah. I’m personally just thankful that I can once again come closer to the true love of my life, data entry.

Sideline- wouldn’t it be cool if there were a group of superheroes that only had powers useful in a crappy office job? Like a 6^th sense that can tell someone when copier toner is low 10 copies before a normal human can notice a difference or someone with an ability to enter data at a speed 1.3 times that of a normal human.

Anyway I’m attaching myself to facebook and checking peoples’ status updates. I’m going to keep track of facebook adverts and see if they match me well or not.

Donna Summer is Back

-And she’s black! But she always was.

Some Screen Printing thing

School Debt?

-Uhh yes

Zeno male hair removal

-Zeno Nightingale?

Atlantis All-Gay Cruises (2)

Get excited about politics!

Equifax Credit Search

Divided we Fail

-I have no idea what this is and I’m not clicking it. Awesome use of ad $.

Today I also hit a bit of a wall at work. Last night I had a pretty intense wake-up-crying nightmare that has kept me in kind of a funk. I decided to work on CurrMIT because it was the least involved of my projects. Anyway, after our all-intern meeting today, I feel kind of adrift in my projects at work. I’m going to talk to my supervisor, but basically I feel like the other interns working on Indianapolis projects are going to walk away with something much more tangible to show from it, while I’m going to have a literary magazine and a handbook that will be used at one center and probably not others. I will also be busting my ass for some “suggestions” that may or may not be incorporated. It just sucks that other peoples projects get to definitely be incorporated and all of mine are maybes. It’s really not a good motivator. I’m probably making this more than it needs to be but it still has me upset.

Taco bell

someone just asked me for the time and addressed me as "sir" - behold the power of business casual

Loving being able to update via email

First, updating via email is amazing- it looks so much more like I’m typing something legitimate

Second, I wish I knew what inspires me at work. Some days I just want to tackle 4329432 projects and other days it is tough to even make a dent in what I need to do. Some of my projects are a little to open ended- I don’t know if the people assigning me things realize that my mind is like kudzu and will quickly expand in all directions, eventually resulting in a tangled ass mess that has clung to every object it has encountered and incorporated these objects into its organic cat’s cradle.

Third, I am going to dinner tonight with Anna/Tone and Joey maybe, if he doesn’t punk out. Joey is a known punk.

Fourth, twitter is busted and has beef with my cell phone- that will need to be scrapped

Fifth, I am thinking about how to make a blog for our med school class so that we can share interesting articles that come to our attention and in order to share online web resources that people find.